The Queen of the Pile

Ever want to return a Christmas present? That jolly fat man sneaked in a sister on me, and my laid back life was over. I was once a Search & Rescue dog, but now I'm freakin' Yoda! Daddy expects me to teach this knucklehead everything, but she didn't even know her name!

I asked her what her name was, and she said there was a red tag on her jail cell (yes, she was a convict!) so we called her Red. Then she said she wanted to be called Yondalagigglesnerch. Next, she wanted to be called Queenopatra Cleo of the pile. Finally, Daddy and Little Darling started calling her Cassie. Thank goodness! Then I just had to get her to accept it and come when they called. I told her that Cassie was the dog that owned the moon. She bought it, and she comes every time they call now.

Next, I had to teach her to sit. It's not easy sitting at attention yourself when a hoodlum teenager is jumping all over you. Finally she came to realize that she would not get balls, food, bones, a scratch behind the ears, or anything if she didn't sit. Now she sits in front of me. That's OK. It allows me to keep an eye on her.

So she knows her name, and she knows to sit. She walks on a lead pretty good too. That's a start, I guess. Daddy is trying to teach her down now. Good luck Daddy! Trying to make this girl sit still or stay down is like trying to get pizza delivered by barking at the moon.

I'm starting to wonder how I got this girl for a sister. We are so different. She's curly, I'm straight. She's limber, I'm muscular. Her ears flop, mine stand up like they are supposed to. She's yellow, I'm black. She's a Roundhead, I'm a Sharpie. She wants to get in the water and mud, I prefer to stay clean. She has a criminal past, I'm a Canine Good Citizen. I tell you it's like trying to communicate with an alien. She does understand the universal Laws of the Jaws though. I guess I have that in my favor.

She still sucks down her food like she's going to never get any more. She tried to stick her nose in my bowl once. Once. Ha! The Laws of the Jaws. Come getcha some Baby! She's playing with some of my old toys, and we share the squeaky ball. Sometimes when Daddy tosses it, instead of catching it in mid-air, I bounce it off my nose so she can chase it. She's pretty good at chasing balls across the floor, but doesn't have a clue how to catch them in the air.

I guess I'm willing to share Daddy a little bit, after all, he does have two hands to scratch with. Cassie always wants to get in front, but Daddy makes sure he pets me too. I'm the only one allowed on the sofa with him though. I'm the only one who rides a bike with him, and I'm the Search & Rescue dog too. I guess it's pretty cool to have a sister again.

If I can just get Cassie to slow down and understand she is at her forever home now, I think she will be OK.