A Nurse with a Gun

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Pawn Shop Circuit: The Phi Mu Glock

I got off work early today and drove on over to Kenny's pawn shop. Kenny met me in the parking lot. "Xav, I've got something you gotta see!" he said enthusiastically.

"Another pinned Smith?" I wondered.

"Nope, better!"

Inside, Kenny pulled out a pretty green and pink Glock from the cabinet behind the jewelry cabinet and displayed it underneath the white halogen lights that make all jewelry look beautiful.

Click to enlarge"Ooooooooo" I exclaimed, "Pink and Green, just my colors!"

"Yeah, it was brought in by a Phi Mu sorority girl, she wanted to trade it for a guitar," Kenny informed me. Back in my college days I had briefly dated a Phi Mu girl until her mother found out about it, so I was intrigued.

"What kind of deal can you give me, my friend?" I inquired of Kenny.

"Well, with the new paint on it, I would have to say $675." Kenny said.

"Does it come with a box?" I asked.

"No, but I can toss in this jewelry box," he replied. He opened up a rosewood box with mother of pearl inlay, and a plastic ballerina began dancing to the Blue Danube.

"How about $600?" I countered.

"Can't do it Xav, this here s a special edition Phi Mu Glock! Do you know how many of these there are?"

He was right. "What will you give me for this?" I asked as I unholstered and cleared my Colt Defender.

"Three hundred. It's used," replied Kenny. I just happened to have four hundred in my pocket, and the Phi Mu Glock was calling me. I tried it in the Defender's holster. It fit if you pushed hard enough on it with the heel of your hand.

"I'll take it," I replied.

I wasn't nearly as happy to see that old antiquated unreliable Colt 1911 go as I was to get some pretty pink and green Phi Mu Glock on my hip. Hell, I was so proud that I decided to open carry the rest of the day. My sweat shirt kept covering it, so I just went bare chested. Between the hair on my chest and the Glock on my hip, the streets carved an opening before me as I approached. Women were getting out of their cars at red lights to proposition me. When I got home, Ilsa had given birth to twenty black German Shepherd puppies. My buttermilk was now sweet milk. Then I checked the calendar.....



Blogger Raptor said...

Funny. Very funny.

1:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy April 1st!

2:20 PM  
Blogger Oracaat said...

"Between the hair on my chest and the Glock on my hip, the streets carved an opening before me as I approached."

Thanks for the funniest word picture of the day! Hats off to you Xavier, may all your buttermilk be sweet.

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Alex said...

You SOB. You got me hook, line, and sinker!

2:49 PM  
Blogger blakenzy said...

I thought it was Sunday again!

2:55 PM  
Blogger Farm.Dad said...

On my surfing today this is the post of THE DAY that i have seen , congrtats .

2:56 PM  
Anonymous Erik said...

Wow that's the most perfect handgun I've ever seen! Form and function in a perfect combination. You got it real cheap!!!

3:18 PM  
Blogger Ed Rasimus said...

The first rule on this day of days is never dilute the effect by 'fessing up in the last sentence.

Leave the delicious lingering doubt about whether you really did...

3:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to hear you've finally seen the light Xavier! ;)

3:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was just deleting your blog from my favourites when I realised the date!

4:27 PM  
Blogger Assrot said...

You had me until you said you gave up a Colt and $475 for a Glock. No offense to Glock Fanatics but I wouldn't trade the corn out of old man Colt's turds for a Glock.



4:55 PM  
Anonymous WW Paul said...

I started getting a knot in my stomach. Good one.

5:11 PM  
Anonymous Shayan said...

JEEZ, I'm not a total idiot but reading this was not one of my finer moments. I was absolutely horrified for a good 7 or 8 paragraphs before I realized what today was.

Durn it, Xavier!

5:43 PM  
Blogger nick said...

I was about to leave a very hateful message here until I saw the other comments and realized it was a joke, you got me good!

Kudos on the best prank so far today!

6:14 PM  
Anonymous Mr.Potato said...

I was had until you agreed to buy a glock, when your considered paying 700 for it I smelled a rat and when you offered your Defender for 400 I knew this was April 1st. :-)

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wait so this isn't real??? Wow. thanks. Well what am i supposed to do now?, i painted my glock green and pink after reading this post.

Where's the part where you have the random shootouts with the police, and scoff at authorities because you conceal carry?


6:44 PM  
Blogger Last Chance Safari Company said...

whaaat.... who.... whaat........first the convert to photog and now this....
oh you are baad

6:46 PM  
Blogger Last Chance Safari Company said...

whaaat.... who.... whaat........first the convert to photog and now this....
oh you are baad

6:47 PM  
Blogger luca said...

HA! You had me too!

7:49 PM  
Blogger R Ryan said...

Great post. Boy, you can save this one and use it again for an upcoming Ugly Gun Sunday.

7:57 PM  
OpenID tomcatshanger said...

I think I've had conversations via a forum with that Glocks owner.

I think I remember him living in South America somewhere, maybe Brazil. He has another Glock in equally horrid colors, I doubt anyone else would do such a thing:)

9:02 PM  
Blogger Reese said...

Ha! I missed the April Fools Day gag until your chest was laid bare.

I was thinking that you'd picked this up for Little Darling. You'd have $300 and change soon enough to get your Defender back.

It's always nice to be reminded that I can be a sucker.

10:27 PM  
Blogger Bennett said...

You almost had me there, Xavier.

11:36 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

I was going to ask you if you were off your meds... then I remembered what day it was.

12:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Far more terrifying when read for the first time on April 2. :)

5:08 AM  
Blogger Lawyer said...


You got me.

I kept looking at the blog URL to make sure I was at the right website.

I was just thinking, man, something went terribly wrong here.

7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I showed that photo to a friend, and she thought it was the neatest thing she'd seen in a while (those are two of her favorite colors).

12:28 PM  
Blogger dropdownstairs said...

trade you for this...
Grendel P-30 semi auto
Auction # 125845881

12:45 PM  
Anonymous mplsk said...

You had me, I thought that maybe you were getting it for your daughter.

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

more april fools
The Myth of 90 Percent: Only a Small Fraction of Guns in Mexico Come From U.S.
While 90 percent of the guns traced to the U.S. actually originated in the United States, the percent traced to the U.S. is only about 17 percent

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Ross said...

You had me right up until you traded in your carry piece... that's what happens if I read blogs a couple of days late, I guess.

2:17 PM  
Blogger Sean Galt said...

Damn. I'd give him $300 for it-
and MARPAT that thign up so quick that heads would spin.
Pink & Green- ewww.
Kinda Eastery; needs Peeps in the pic though.

4:21 PM  

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