A Nurse with a Gun
I got to go in and piss in the cup today. Everytime I do that, it reminds me of Cheech and Chong. I also got to take a written test that showed I had basic nursing skills, get a Hep B titer drawn, as well as a mantoux stick. I filled out a health questionaire, and then the employee heatlth nurse discovered...........hypertension.
posted by Xavier at 5:07 PM
Xavier is a Registered Nurse who specialized in complex wound care. He has practiced for over fourteen years in his community. He often provided nursing service in areas where law enforcement refused to enter without back-up. Xavier now works in surgery. Xavier has been an avid shooter for over 30 years. He strongly supports the 2nd Amendment, opposes gun control of any sort, and carries a weapon 24 hours a day. Xavier is known on various internet gun forums as XavierBreath. He is married with three children, and is moderated by an apathetic one eyed cat, a goofy Golden Retriever, and a stalwart German Shepherd Dog. One day, he hopes to be deserving of them all.
Domari Nolo
Xavier can still be emailed at
treatmewithbenignneglect@gmail.com
He might read your email.
He might delete it on sight.
He might publish it and comment on it.
The Four Rules
1. All firearms are always loaded
2. Never let the muzzle of a firearm point at anything you are not willing to destroy
3. Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to shoot
4. Be sure of your target and what lies beyond it
The Five Rules of Concealed Carry
1. Your concealed handgun is for protection of life only.
2. Know exactly when you can use your gun.
3. If you can run away -- RUN!
4. Display your gun, be prepared to go to jail.
5. Don't let your emotions get the best of you.
© 2009 Xavier Thoughts
All Rights Reserved
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
6 Comments:
LOL Yep!
Drug tests = Heil Hitler!
And for God’s sake X, increase your fluids my good man…can’t you see how yellow your urine is? LOL!! (I know, it’s only a clip art photo.)
They may even request, “The stress of trying to “keep em in the black” is an added pressure so, you might forgo the shooting sports for a few months or till we get you in the correct perimeters.”
LORD HAVE MERCY!! What a killer that would be. Out to the range for some relaxed shooting does more to relax one than many people may imagine.
It may be a pain in the rear getting straightened away with the hypertension but you’ll be feeling better in the long run. HUH! Look at me…telling someone with nursing skills how things will be. A thousand pardons X. I hope the hypertension doesn’t postpone your job in the operating room?
Good luck,
Ronaldo
I remember my first and last drug test back in the 90s. I was paranoid over a false positive, so it was two liters of cranberry juice the night before and two liters of water the before I went to the clinic. Oh and two liters on the drive down. Blocks from the clinic I hit a gas station for the rest room.
continued...
As Standard Mischief said, I too had a similar experience. The job I currently work (Quality Engineer) required a drug screening before acceptance. I typically drink a couple bottles of water a day, but this particular week consisted of moving my family 800 miles across the country by my lonesome self. I wouldn't hesitate to say my water intake was higher than normal (for me), and much higher than average for the "general public".
The first test results came out "Too diluted" to pull a sample. I argued the test was skewed or mixed, and went back the next day for a second test. That one came out fine, but it was very frustrating to have a job I was fortunate to be considered for hang in the balance of some piss test results!
Didn't they give you the high blood pressure when you got your first RN job?
Why don't all of us just petition the government to put us on disability since stress is indemic to the work environment and a leading cause of hypertension?
So, what's it going to be? Maxide? Lisinopril? Metoprolol?
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