A Nurse with a Gun

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Nocturnal Sojourns

*Ring* *Ring* *Ring* *Ring*

"Hello?"

"Hi Hon, Where you at?"

"I'm over here at church. Xav...One of the women in the choir says there is a strange man outside on a bicycle."

"Oh my."

"They say he might be dangerous........"

"A man on a bicycle?"

"Yeah, with a light on his head!"

"That sounds like a suspicious sort, out riding a bike at night with a light on his head. There ought to be a law....."

"Xav.....?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you come check it out? It's dark and he's still out there.....In a hoodie."

"Does he have a gun?"

"I don't know......."

"I bet he's armed.....Should I bring Ilsa?"

"She might get hurt, leave her at home........Hurry......."

"What's he wearing?"

"I don't know......Dammit, he's wearing jeans, a hoodie and talking on a cellphone!...............Is that Ilsa?.....Dammit! You goofball!"

A poet put it very well. She said when she was older,
She wouldn't be so meek and mild. She threatened to get bolder.
She'd put a red hat on her head, and purple on her shoulder.
She'd make her life a warmer place, her golden years much golder.
As ladies get older, they rejoice in the wearing of red hats and purple gowns. But what is their mate to do? Why put on a tweed jacket, loafers and ride a cobbled together old bicycle through the night with a light beaming from his eccentric head. What's the problem in that?

Labels: ,

10 Comments:

Blogger daleosborn said...

Did she punch you in the shoulder when she got home?

8:42 PM  
Blogger Sevesteen said...

I used to go riding with a couple who had an opus counterpoint half-recumbent tandem. It was strange enough during the day, but some of our rides were night...and there is no way to mount conventional lights on a Counterpoint. They each had a very bright helmet light. In the dark, from head on, each independently looking around for traffic they looked extremely strange.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Angus Lincoln said...

That's awesome ...and very funny.
what do you suppose that might cost you?

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Travlin said...

Hey Xav - It seems like you haven't been to the pawn shops much lately. I hope this is just temporary because of extra time at work. Your pawn shop reports are among my favorite features, and judging by the comments many others agree.

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I kinda miss the parody/satire writing of the Concealed carry stories.

1:22 AM  
Anonymous Jack said...

Hahaha, I'm laughing my head off right now.

1:37 AM  
Blogger Jonathan said...

heh heh.

5:46 AM  
Blogger Breda said...

Ha ha ha! This is so funny - and terribly cute, too. Your wife must be a very patient woman ;)

9:42 AM  
Blogger phlegmfatale said...

A nocturnal bike ride seems the only sane response.

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Just another John said...

You caused her to say "Dammit" at church!

11:49 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Links to this post:

Create a Link