A Nurse with a Gun

Friday, September 26, 2008

Several of my readers have emailed me to ask advice on what to do, how to handle the recent internal turmoil at The High Road. I encourage everyone to retain their membership, whether you post or not. Whether or not you want to continue to read or participate there is an individual decision that only you can make.

If you desire to retain your membership, please abide by the forum rules and guidelines. Personal attacks and name calling has never been tolerated at The High Road, and it will not be tolerated now. If you go about the forum posting attacks against another member, no matter what the reason, you have violated the rules, and deserve to be banned. Bans at The High Road are permanent. You will not be reinstated. Your warning was given when you read the forum guidelines and agreed with them on registration. Today is no different than when you signed up.

As far as "choosing sides" you do not have to. Everyone involved wants The High Road to continue to survive, grow and flourish. The High Road is a community. I suppose one man can claim ownership of the domain, but the true worth of any online forum is owned by it's members. It has always been that way, and always will be. If the membership fails, the forum fails. If the membership thrives, the forum thrives.

Over the past couple of days I have given a lot of thought to these issues. I do not know everything that was said nor everything that was done. Others have published accounts of the series of events that led to the present acrimony. I do not dispute those people, nor do I condemn them. Whether the publication of these issues was wise is not for me to determine. I do not know "the truth." I can only act on that which I know.

I do know the ideals and principles The High Road was founded on. I still believe in them. While I hold an opinion, I will not "choose sides" between two men in this debacle. That is childish. The "side" I choose is that of The High Road itself. I sincerely hope that all others concerned will also choose The High Road as the side they are on. Among the staff, I ceased commenting on the current flap on September 12. At that point, I resolved to simply moderate and enjoy the forum as long as the forum continues to hold true to the ideals it was founded on. These issues will resolve. Until then, I hope to be a part of keeping The High Road the valuable resource and civil forum it has been from it's inception.



Anonymous eric Shelton said...

Well said, sir.

1:57 AM  
Blogger Eric said...

+1 to what Eric Shelton said.

12:19 PM  
Anonymous pax said...

I'm surprised and disappointed that there's so little personal loyalty to the real owner, though I understand why it's so tempting to justify helping the sneak thief. Giving up a forum full of what you thought were real friends is a difficult thing to do, especially when you've poured a lot of love and time into building the place over the years. (A point which I probably understand more directly and viscerally than anyone currently on staff.)

But the course you are suggesting is as if someone kidnapped your wife, telling all your friends the kidnapping is for her own good because you didn't really love her anyway, and weren't meeting her needs. The kidnapper calls you on the phone while he's holding a gun to your wife's head, and says to you, "Don't call the cops. We can work this out." He adds that if the cops respond, your wife might be killed in the crossfire and then her death would be your fault.

If you call the cops, in the twisted mind of the kidnapper, anything that happens after that is your own fault. All the kidnapper's friends believe that if you call the cops it will simply prove you didn't love your wife in the first place, and that -- if she dies -- it will be because you made the kidnapper kill her. They say things like, "What did you expect poor kidnapper to do? He was only trying to help!" To them, obviously it would have been better for your wife if you'd just let the kidnapper keep her as his plaything, and not called the cops because she might get hurt or killed when the cops responded.

You have my sympathy, Xavier. It's difficult to resist that kind of emotional blackmail from twisted minds.


2:10 PM  
Blogger Xavier said...

You will note pax, that I am the first, and for a while the only moderator that circulated Oleg's appeal.

This blog post was for members of The High Road who PMed or emailed me wanting to know whether they should spam the forum with this crap. As you can read in the post, I advise them to follow the rules of the forum, or they will be banned as always.

Because I want resolution does not mean that I am anything that your poorly researched and presumptive comment implies. I hold you in the highest esteem as the moderator who I modeled myself after, but I do not need your sympathy.

I damned sure do not need you putting words into my mouth. That is exactly why I quit commenting on these issues in Staff, well before Derek seized control of the forum.

Yes, I have my loyalties. The parties that my loyalties matter to know them. If anyone looked around this blog a bit before posting, they would know them as well.

I am not one who wants to see the data base that is The High Road held hostage, stolen, or vaporized because of anger. I am also not one to contribute to that anger. You may chose to do otherwise.

4:19 PM  
Anonymous pax said...

Because I want resolution does not mean that I am anything that your poorly researched and presumptive comment implies.

Xavier ~

Forgive me, please. All that my poorly researched & presumptive comment really meant to imply was that you are in a damnably difficult situation.

Period, full stop.

The "little personal loyalty" comment really & truly wasn't directed at you, Xavier, and you've my apologies that it read that way. My fault for not being more plain! As I penned it, I was thinking of -- shall I name names? -- people whom Oleg trusted, who've deliberately helped the thief in various very obvious ways, or who kept silence rather than speaking against the gathering storm while it was still early enough for such speech to do some good.

You're right, those of us who are ordinary members at THR should not violate forum rules there. When somoene is holding a gun to your loved one's head, and the thug's friends all also have guns pointed at you personally, rushing in bare-handed and without a plan is unlikely to do anyone any good. It's only smart to fall back and call the cops to sort it out -- which is what Oleg opted to do, and which is why contributing to his legal fund is the best show of solidarity any of the rest of us can give him.



6:02 PM  
Blogger Xavier said...

Thank you for posting again pax. I'm sorry that I misread your comment. Having my best words of reason twisted and used against me in this turmoil has made me rather sensitive to it happening again, I suppose.

You are right the situation is damned difficult.

6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a member of thehighroad, and I visit the site about once a day. But, I am a bit confused. What the heck happened.

6:38 PM  

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