The Range Know-It-All
"You planning to shoot trap little lady?"
Bam! ker-chunk Bam!
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"Why do you have your target so close? Seven yards is too close. If you are going to pattern that gun....."
"I'm training to defend myself."
"You planning on shootin' somebody?"
"No, I'm planning to defend myself."
"Whatever I need to."
"You going to shoot 'em with that gun? Maybe you need to hide and call the police instead. What if you shoot a family member? What is that? A .410?"
"It's a twenty gauge. Dad says always identify your target and know what's beyond it before you pull the trigger. Why would I shoot a family member if I identify them first?"
I notice a fat fruit talking to my daughter. I table my pistol and wander over to observe. He turns to me.
"This here little girl plans to defend herself with that shotgun. What do you think of that?"
"I think that's damned fine," I replied.
"But what if they're not dangerous? What if it's just some kids breaking in for drug money?"
Little Darling piped up. "How are you supposed to know that Mister? Dad says if they are not a threat to your life, you don't shoot, but if they are, you shoot until the threat is no longer a threat."
"If somebody breaks into your house, what you need to do is hide in a closet with your shotgun and fire two shots into the ceiling."
"Do you think being deaf makes it easier for a victim to be raped and murdered?"
"Mister, I think you need to go back in the closet yourself," I said.
Crickets...............He waddled off.
"Daddy I don't think he would fit in a closet."
"Hmmmmmmmm. Make sure you keep your beads aligned on that target when you eject your hull Darling."
Ker-chunk Bam! ker-chunk Bam! ker-chunk Bam! ker-chunk Bam!