Five Bucks

Elliott Firby was driving home from his job as a night shift letter sorter at the post office when he noticed two teens in a black truck. The truck slowed to let him pass, and then began following him. It was 2:45 AM. "Something is fixing to jump off," stated Mr. Firby at a press conference.

Mr. Firby continued to his home, and after he parked in his driveway, he got out to open the gate. The black truck reappeared and a man with a shotgun hopped out and confronted the postal worker. "Give it up sir'" the armed criminal said politely as he pointed the deadly weapon at the innocent man. Mr. Firby fell to his knees and reached towards his wallet, which only contained five dollars.

A mere five dollars would no doubt only infuriate the criminal with the lethal weapon. Elliott Firby's life was being threatened, and would likely be extinguished over five dollars. His wife, asleep inside their home would likely find her dying husband in a pool of blood because some punk was too stupid and sorry to get a job. Rather than give up his life for under an hour's wage at minimum wage, Mr. Firby did what he had to do.

A year prior, Mr. Firby and his wife had applied for and received their concealed carry licenses under Florida's shall issue legislation. Elliot Firby pulled his .380 pistol from behind his back and began firing. He shot the criminal in the abdomen, and then fired again as the felon ran towards the truck. The bandit made it to the truck, and it sped away into the night. "You have to do something to protect yourself," Mr. Firby says. "The police can’t be there all the time."

911 was called, and a police investigation began. Later in the early morning hours, a sixteen year old appeared at Sarasota Memorial Hospital with a bullet wound. Brandon Ellis was dumped at the emergency entrance from a black pick-up truck. Surveillance cameras captured the black pick-up truck on film. The partner in crime, Cadareus Ray was arrested as a result. Of course, the media is making note of the fact neither criminal had a previous record, and both were star athletes. I'm sure their relatives will appear soon to relate they were on their way to church to feed hungry lepers when the cruel Elliott Firby began shooting at them for no good reason.

There was blood in the Florida streets, but it was not the blood of innocents. Mr. Elliott has not been charged. Under Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law, he is a free man. He is also a man who still breathes. "He was looking at dying," stated Sarasota Police Captain Bill Spitler, "and he has every right to defend himself."

Damned right he does.