Xavier Thoughts: Steve the Lawnmower Man

Monday, January 19, 2009

Steve the Lawnmower Man

"My wife said if I didn't get her another beer she's gonna stab me in the face."

"I'm just going down the road to the Oyster Shack. Come on...."

"She hit me in the face with a damned bone!"

Courtesy of Peter

Labels: Louisiana

26 Comments:

Divemedic said...: Video 1: "Is it illegal to cut grass? My wife is gonna kick your ass!"

Video 2: "I think I crapped my pants."

Video 3: "I can't smoke a little marijuana in my own house?"

What is this, Reno 911?; 9:01 AM
MedicMatthew said...: *snort*

But he knows his rights!

Damn, I hate stupid.; 9:04 AM
Anonymous said...: This has got to be a comedy routine. . . .if not, that good ole boy has a future in comedy. .

The Fudgie Ghost; 9:24 AM
Glenn B said...: When I first looked I thought, oh here we go again with the same old drunken lawn mower driver video, what a nice surprise to see an in depth review of his interaction with police over the year. Talk about Darwin award nominees! I am still chuckling.

All the best,
GB; 9:47 AM
Ed Rasimus said...: It seems that his understanding of his rights is a bit in disagreement with the regular interpretation of the law. The frightening aspect is that he is not a rare example of America today. Frightening.; 9:53 AM
Anonymous said...: Wow! That Steve is a true libertarian. Probably still has the Ron Paul poster taped over the broken window back at the shack.

"I know my rahhhhhhts!"; 11:05 AM
Anonymous said...: Following the youtube links, these funny viral videos are Marc Ryan, and are part of his demo reel.; 11:37 AM
Anonymous said...: Awww, that cop's got a hard-on for Steve. Notice how he just loves to wrestle with Steve?; 11:49 AM
Anonymous said...: Joe Dirt!

Wonder if this inspired the movie or Steve just fell into the fictional role of Joe Dirt.; 12:44 PM
Raptor said...: I think I've seen this guy on those Police Videos TV shows a few times.

LMAO every single time.; 1:41 PM
Anonymous said...: Are these for real? I liked how in the first one he told the cop his wife was going to beat his ass.; 1:47 PM
Anonymous said...: Talk about the shallow end of the gene pool. That fellows pool consist of a mud puddle. I love it.; 2:53 PM
Mikael said...: Posterboy for the post-birth abortion movement.; 3:16 PM
Anonymous said...: "The frightening aspect is that he is not a rare example of America today. Frightening."

The really frightening aspect is that he probably voted.; 4:14 PM
Anonymous said...: Once again, these are funny but created for entertainment purposes.

Yet they are entirely believable.
Lord help us all.; 4:34 PM
Anonymous said...: There is no way this is real... still very funny.; 5:12 PM
Anonymous said...: I am at a loss for a comment pithy enough to do this series of videos justice.

I am speechless as I type.

Xavier, is this how all of you boys down in cajun land act?

Smoking a joint after you call the cops on your wife, with a riding lawnmower parked out front. WOW!!!; 5:54 PM
Anonymous said...: This may be comedy but
sad thing is there are people out there just like Steve

Had a coworker who was a "functional alcoholic" and when sober or at work, he was the nicest guy you ever want to meet

On weekends though,
when drinking, he was almost as bad as Steve :(

Stupid is stupid
but alcoholism
IS a disease............; 6:42 PM
Robert Langham said...: He's not a threat to anyone except himself. How about just leaving him alone?; 8:20 AM
Anonymous said...: Bet he voted for Obama!; 11:51 AM
Anonymous said...: The only sad thing about this is that people can't connect their dots and see the videos aren't legit.

But I must say, the way the officer bravely defended himself against the man violently relieving himself was entirely believable. Pepper spray and TASERs aren't used much for self-defense anymore. They're used for compliance. To force people to do what they say.; 8:09 PM
Anonymous said...: "Pepper spray and TASERs aren't used much for self-defense anymore. They're used for compliance. To force people to do what they say."

I agree completely.; 7:46 AM
Anonymous said...: I'm looking for the next video where the cop shoots Steve's dog as they execute a pre-dawn raid on him for failure to appear.

Steve thinks he has the right to be let alone by the police. He didn't get the memo that we are to submit to the state or get beat down.; 11:24 AM
Anonymous said...: From the NEW Andy Griffith Show:

BARNEY: Andy, the new tasers are here, the new tasers are here! Lookit, we got the new tasers in from over to Charlotte. Just look at this beauty. This here's a new Twenty Forty Six SF-T Selective Fire Taser. This baby's state of the electronical art, I tell ya! See ya later Anj!

ANDY: Where ya goin'?

BARNEY: Got rounds to make. Check out the fire hydrant down on the corner, make sure that's clear and safe. Then I thought I'd cruise down by the school house. Some bully's been stealing Opie's milk money again, and I got just the medicine for him right here...

ANDY: Barney, Opie's a bald old man with grandkids. He makes movies now, for cryin' out loud. Anyway, you ain't got no bizness patrolling school yards and fire hydrants with a daggum taser. Now just simmer down.

BARNEY: But Andy, I saw Otis pullin his jalopy up in front of the barber shop with no respect for the fire hydrant. I'm gonna nip it in the bud, I tell ya. You read the manual on these tasers ... I'll bet it says they're PERFECT for bud nipping!

ANDY: Now Barney, you're gettin' all worked up over nothin'. You just put that thing in your pocket and don't take it out unless I tell you to.

BARNEY: I got my bullet in my pocket.

ANDY: So?

BARNEY: So this taser goes off, then the bullet goes off, and suddenly this whole sheriff department is just one big, fat joke. And me, I could end up dead.

ANDY: Yer already dead, Barney. For that matter, so am I.

BARNEY: So? I'm still registered to vote in this state, by golly. Duty's duty, and I'm not one to shirk it. Now I'm gonna go practice.

ANDY: Practice what? Practice bein' dead?

BARNEY: Don't be sarcastical. I'm gonna go practice with this new taser. If I ever need it, I want it to already know how to leap into my hand, primed and ready for lightenin' fast action. Lightenin'...get it, Anj? "Ride the lightenin', baby!"

ANDY: I don't think you have to prime a taser. Look Barn, why don't your run down to Ole Munson Road. Someone called in and said Steve was down there again, drinkin' whiskey and ridin' around on his ridin' lawnmower.

BARNEY: What, AGAIN?! If I tole that boy onest, I tole him a thousand times, don't be riding that lawnmower on the street. I'll go take care of it. Perfect chance to try out the new Twenty Forty Six. Oh boy!

ANDY: Now don't go tryin' out nothing, Barn, you keep that taser in your pocket. In fact, give me the battery. Here, now keep it in your shirt pocket with your bullet. Just ride down there and tell Steve to take his lawn mower home and stay put til he sobers up. Don't make a big deal out of this thing. Heck, it's just Steve, probly just goin' down to the Oyster Shack.

BARNEY: Sure thing, Anj. And it was JUST Al Capone. And it was JUST Ted Bundy. And it was JUST George Bush. I'm gonna go nip it in the bud like his daddy shoulda done. Lawn mowers are for lawns. If you're drivin on MY road, you BETTER have four wheels or Barney Fife'll know the reason why.

ANDY: Uh, Barn, I think Steve's mower's gonna have four wheels. What else ya got? I mean, besides a taser and attitude?

BARNEY: How about Ordinance 3 Oh 6? That's what I got, 3 OH 6 ... the LAW on my side.

ANDY: A 3 Oh 6 is parking in front of a fire hydrant.

BARNEY: Well, there ya go.

ANDY: Go on, Barn. Just don't be makin' nobody ride no lightenin'.

BARNEY: Not unless it's him or me, Anj. Not unless it's him or me.

- Ted Thompson

--------------------------------
Ted A. Thompson
http://phffft.com; 5:32 PM
Anonymous said...: He said "She hit me in the face with the damn bong...", not "bone".

And Steve is real, not an act.

Marc Ryan grew up with him in LA and acquired the police videos from his cop buddy.

Funny shit though...that's for sure.

Oh yea, drinking an operating a motor vehicle is a crime. So is not obeying a law enforcement officer.

Perhaps if he wasn't riding down the road with bottle in hand, or if he wasn't a repeat offender, it wouldn't have been such an issue.

Hilarious either way.; 10:36 PM
Unknown said...: Uh, no. This is Marc Ryan in the videos acting as Steve. You can go to MarcRyan.com and see that it is the same guy. Still funny though.; 4:11 PM