A Nurse with a Gun

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Smoke Belching Red Demon

It's that time of year again, the fleas are out, and the boogie cats are bringing ticks into the yard. Another thing happens this time of year too. The red stinky smoke belching noisy contraption chases Daddy out of the garden shed and he chases it all over the yard. I don't like that at all.

He pours some stinky stuff in it, and then he jerks on its tail a couple of times, and it starts growling like its going to kill him. Last year,I was on my own against the stinky red monster, but this year, I have back-up. That's right, Cassie has my back. She's just a Golden Retriever, and if a ball gets tossed she loses all concentration, but she's wiry. They fought each other back and forth around the house. Cassie looked out her crate at me, worried about Daddy supper, but I told her to just have faith.

As soon as the red smoke demon started following Daddy, we started barking to make it stop. It showed a total lack of respect. That was enough for me. Either you are going to show the German Shepherd Dog proper respect, or I'm going to have to teach you respect.

I clamped down on that red monster's foot and started dragging it across the yard. It tasted worse than a boogie cat's butt. Cassie was barking "I'm here for ya Ilsa!" and Daddy had the monster by it's horns, but then a surprising thing happened. Daddy told me to stand down!

Then he took me inside, told me to crate up. I sat there in my crate listening to the ferocious battle raging outside between Daddy and the red demon. Finally, the demon stopped growling, and we sat in silence for a long time, not knowing if Daddy survived. When we heard the back door open, we weren't sure if it was Daddy or the demon. Cassie whimpered. "Shut up!" I told her. Then there were those familiar footsteps coming through the kitchen. Daddy lived!

EPILOGUE: When we went back outside, we sniffed around the garden shed, and we could tell the demon was inside. The doors were locked though. I'm pretty sure Daddy killed it. I have a feeling he has it cut up into strips to make some smoked demon jerky in there. If he does, I hope he gives me a bite!



Anonymous Alex said...

Very funny!

"total lack of disrespect"

I guess Ilsa meant to type "respect" instead of "disrespect".

6:47 PM  
Blogger Xavier said...

Good catch Alex.... Sometimes when she's typing Cassie distracts her.

7:04 PM  
Blogger James A. Zachary Jr. said...

That was hilarious! Well done!

8:04 PM  
Anonymous Sans Authoritas said...

Mmmm. Demon jerky.

9:09 PM  
OpenID reflectoscope said...

I agree, well done!


9:21 PM  
Anonymous Rightwing182 said...

And I thought it was just my dogs that bit at the lawn mower.

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Job Ilsa!

11:17 AM  
Blogger Assrot said...

Man, talk about ticks. We've been over run with them here in sunny south Florida.

I have 3 dogs and it is a constant battle. My neighbors on both sides have dogs and they don't take care of the dogs nor their yard so no matter how hard I try, the ticks send in another regiment from across the border daily it seems.

I'm thining about giving my neighbors a dip.



4:18 PM  
Blogger Jarubla said...

Ahh the joys of mowing the grass from a dog's perspective. Thank you for Ilsa Thoughts!


11:24 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Links to this post:

Create a Link