Friday, January 15, 2010

Well Damn.

Damn. I never suspected.........

OK. The lights will be left on. The reference material will remain available. I did not realize that some of it was so difficult to find, or that people wanted it so much.

When I left for work this morning, I noticed that I had about fifty comments to my last post. I figured I would answer each one once I got home. I came home to find them pouring in faster than I can read and publish them. At work I received two telephone calls, something that I usually cannot allow. I returned the calls in between cases and was amazed at who I had touched. All I could say when I hung up was "Damn. Well, Damn."

Friends, thank you for the outpouring of support and goodwill. The blog will remain available, and I will likely return to it to update things after a few days or weeks. I need to get away, I need to to put down the keyboard. I need to pick up my guns and go shoot. I need to pick up my camera and go shoot. I need to take my daughter out for ice cream. I need to run Ilsa along the river. I need to go to Gunsite. I need to get away.

I remember my favorite blogger, Rob Smith. When he died and I thought his blog would dissolve it hit me hard. I visited his place this afternoon, and I read in his side bar...... "If my blog does not meet your standards, then LOWER YOUR STANDARDS. Who the hell do you think you are, anyway?" Rob was right. I chuckled at his Axis of Asshole insignia and I re-read some of his words.

I read some of Syd's work. I still long for an update on Syd's posts. If anyone was my Blog-daddy, it was Syd. Exploring his thoughts and trying to reach his level of competence inspired me to better myself. I never considered that my attempts had the same effect on others. The idea just doesn't seem realistic. I am not worthy of that.

Over the past few months I thought I had some great material for blogging, but the muse just danced a dance I could not follow. I will, perhaps, write about some of my past experiences, some of my recollections. I may or may not be accurate. Hell, is our memory of distant events ever not colored by more recent experiences? I don't know where this blog will go, or how often it will be updated, but I will keep it public for you.

I apologize if anyone went berserk trying to save information, that was not my intent. I had intended to keep it up for a week or so, and then let it go. I did not want to sound histrionic, as though I would toss the baby out with the bathwater, but I suppose I came off that way. I apologize for that.

I cannot promise that I will ignore stupid comments. I may publish them anyway. I may have inadvertly published an email or two in the comments of yesterday's blog. I will go through them, find the emails and try to delete the email addys without deleting the comment. Not certain how, but I will try.

Thank you for the support and goodwill. All of you. Even the ones who think this is an overtly political blog. Even those who disagree but said thanks anyway. Yep, the lights will stay on. They just might not have an addition for a while.

I went by Neil's pawn shop yesterday. The S&W Model 10 was still there. Still $299. I'm still holding.

79 comments:

  1. Sounds like a great plan. Get away from this fro a bit and recharge. Enjoy meatspace for awhile instead of metaspace. And, I don't care who a person is, taking a daughter out for ice cream has to be right at the top of the priority list :) Even in the dead of winter, my daughters can't wait for Dairy Queen to open in the spring so we can go again. Good times for sure.

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  2. Sherm636:00 PM

    Since you are on my daily read list this is some of the best news I've read all day! Glad to hear you're staying around a while longer.

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  3. Great to see you stay. Never let those bastards get you down. This gun guy from Jersey is behind you 100%. Learned a lot here glad that will continue even if we have to wait. Thanks.

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  4. That's good to hear. I'm glad you reconsidered. Your blog has been a resource for many out on the web for some time. I was concerned about all the links referencing this fine resource suddenly becoming inoperable. I'm happy to hear that won't be happening.

    A break is a good idea. Good luck to you sir. I look forward to being able to reference your blog in the future.

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  5. Good news Xavier. No matter what the value of your blog may be, that of your life and family is much, much greater. I'll look forward to the occasional updates in the future.

    All the best.

    Leon

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  6. Anonymous6:47 PM

    If what it takes is some time away, take the time. We all have our ups and downs... such is life.'

    Take care of yourself first. That's more important than any blog. Go shoot. Go recharge. Go have ice cream.

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  7. Anonymous6:52 PM

    Thank you!

    MB in Tennessee

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  8. McGyver7:22 PM

    Do as you need. I have read your blog for the last couple years, enjoying all of it. You've given lots of good advice and lot's of tears... and laughs. I (and the kids and the missus) really like Ilsa's thots. I'd never found oout about a clark meltdown, or even considered a 1911 (I DO like my M9) without your info. ThanX! McGyver, out

    mcgyver@bresnan.net

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  9. Damn right skippy!

    Just take as long as you need, I have the strange feeling it will be worth the wait.

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  10. Roger.457:34 PM

    Xavier,

    Very happy that you have reconsidered. Take a break man... but keep up the great work.

    I must warn you though, I still will not agree with everything you say ( probably will agree with most of what you say)... but I will keep reading day after day.

    Thanks.

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  11. I'm very glad to hear you've decided to Motel 6 the place. I've been blogging coming up on seven years now, and the muse is a fickle b!t@h. I haven't had the commenter problems you've had, and I can see where that would wear you down, but your blog has been an excellent resource, and a site of some damned fine writing. Please - by all means, take as much time off as you need. I'm willing to bet that from time to time you'll find you have something you want to say to a broader audience than your circle of co-workers and friends.

    We'll be here waiting when that happens.

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  12. Xavier, Thanks for reconsidering. I like what Rob Smith said about standards, too.

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  13. Well then, that'll do pig, that'll do.

    We must have passed in the dark on our Wespac's but have enjoyed getting to know you a bit through this blog.

    Don't feed the Trolls.

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  14. Glad to hear it. You mention going to Gunsite - let me know if you're ever in AZ and we'll hit the range or some such.

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  15. Whew! That was close. We were ready to plead our case to Ilsa.

    Thanks, Xavier!

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  16. Anonymous9:14 PM

    This makes me very, very happy. You were the first of two blogs that I started following regularly (the other being Kim Du Toit and he retired from the blogosphere over a year ago). I'm grateful that you've made this decision and continue to look forward to reading anything and everything that you will write.

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  17. Good on you, Xav! Remember, we work for you, not the other way 'round ;]

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  18. epnurse9:27 PM

    Xavier:

    I'm thrilled. Absolutely--go shoot (both cameras and firearms).

    I'm glad you've changed your mind, really. Besides, you're the only other pro-gun nurse I know!

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  19. bro, take a sabbatical if you must, everyone needs time to recharge the batteries. your's is one of my main blog reads every week, tons of good info. we'll be waiting for you when you feel like getting back into it. prayers sent, take care.
    gene

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  20. As the designer of the Axis of Asshole logo,

    http://neanderpundit.com/?p=610

    and a sometime reader here, let me suggest you keep blogging or i will have to send guido your way. And if you need help dealing with trolls, I got that too. I Lurve fragging trolls.

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  21. That is great news. I just recently discovered this blog, and in reading past posts and writings as well as the excellent links you have on the side has provided me much entertainment and great knowledge enrichment.

    Also, some sort of cyber fellowship, like a revolver support group. I've owned my own auto pistols since 1976, as a teen, but as a cop carried a revolver and often now carry a revolver on my prosecutor chl in Texas.

    My daddy always said 5 or 6 certain shots beats the hell out of 13 maybe shots (talking about the Hi Power). One of my dad's cop friends shot himself through the fatty part of the buttock using the mexican carry method on a 1911, so my dad never really cared for the 1911 and a SW Model 10 when in the military but never cared much for the 1911.

    I really like your writing, and hope that after a respite you might again do some writing. At least keep us posted on the pawn shop sitings, that is a nice subject through which I can live vicariously.

    I look forward to reading the rest of your stuff. I'm having my son read some of your writings on revolvers so he understands I'm not the only one into wheelguns for self defense.

    Is it ok if I occasionally quote from some of your writings on my blog, with attribution of course, on some of the gun stuff you've written? It would be in a positive manner, not derogatory or even trying to be controversial.

    There are some of your postings about guns that are pure gold, and I'd like to quote some of them talking about how I couldn't say it better.

    That's how much I like your blog, Sir.

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  22. Anonymous11:06 PM

    WOOHOO!
    (:My third comment here:)
    -Hoop

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  23. Xav,

    So. Take a break. Take the new son in law shooting. Take the daughter shooting. Take your guns shooting.

    Spend some time at the reloading bench working up the perfect load for that .38 S&W Colt. And then, well go shoot it of course.

    Heck, come out and visit Arizona and go shooting, we'll show you a good time.

    Whatever you do, never, ever let the idiots get you down. God, or Nature, or the Vagaries of the Universe simply made too damn many of them.

    -Mark

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  24. HTownTejas12:04 AM

    I've very much appreciated your blog, it's been informative. Thanks.

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  25. Whew! glad to hear this! I look forward to reading more. Enjoy the break.

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  26. Great News!!!

    Always enjoy reading your post's.

    Thanks.

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  27. Great News!!!

    Thanks.

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  28. Fishin' Musician.... Quote away. Thanks for the support.

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  29. X, before you go on vacation, can you tell me anything about a S&W 5904 that barely makes paper?
    Picked it up cheap, everything is tight, nice three dots, POS.
    Prolly fine at 7 yards but....?

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  30. I'm glad you reconsidered. I hope to keep reading your stuff for a long time. Stay healthy, stay sane, stay cool, but stay, ok?

    Bob

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  31. Xav, I was born and raised in a large city and other than shooting a .22 in the boy scouts, never fired a gun for some 30 years. After Katrina, I decided that I needed to be prepared to defend myself and went about the process of becoming proficient with firearms.

    During that period of time, I have turned to your blog for every new post. Your passion for what you do (be it nursing, shooting or photography)and common sense in dealing with the issues related to guns, safety and home defense have been a great service and an inspiration to me. In fact, when my wife wanted to learn to safely shoot, one of the first things I did was print out and give her your views on the Four Rules.

    I can certainly understand if the muse has departed (either temporarily or permanently) and will respect your decision either way. I simply wanted to say thank you for your efforts in writing this blog.

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  32. Anonymous9:01 AM

    Xavier,

    Thank you for a wonderful and insightful blog. I wish you, your daughter and Ilsa well in your journeys.

    Mike

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  33. Thanks for all that you have given me. You have the common sense it takes to survive in this world and are willing to share it. Mental survival is also another form of self defense.

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  34. Xav-
    Thanks for reconsidering. I've been reading you since the start, and have thoroughly enjoyed your writings.
    Take a break-get refreshed. We'll be here;)

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  35. Anonymous11:22 AM

    Thank you.
    I always looked for your new blog entries. I've respected and appreciated what you had to say.
    I'm so pleased you will be around -- not "gone".

    Old Fud

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  36. Glad you're sticking with it. The trick is to learn to control the blog, rather than let it control you. Blogging can take over a big part of your time, and when that happens it's easy to get burned out . When that happens a lot of them pack it in rather than going back to how it was when they first started blogging.

    It sound like you could stand a weekend in Reno to unwind and re-group a bit, like maybe at GBR-V in September?

    Now if I can only get you to stop calling race guns ugly.......

    Mr. C.

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  37. Anonymous12:26 PM

    Xavier, thank you for all that you do here. You helped me buy my first 1911, and I appreciate that. I still refer people here constantly who are looking for good solid 1911 info. And while I'm not a photographer, I still read your photography posts, primarily because you are passionate about it, and that makes it interesting.

    Again, thanks and keep it up.

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  38. Thanks for sticking around. You would be sorely missed.

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  39. consider me one of the relieved. your photography info has been helpful, your opinions have been insightful, and your life experiences have been worth reading.

    'sides, you're one of the few out there who can write. thanks for sticking around.

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  40. A great big virtual hug, you big lug. Thanks for keeping the light on for us.

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  41. Anonymous4:49 PM

    I'm glade you decided to stay. I'm fairly new to your blog, but I have learned quite a lot in my short stay here and have enjoyed your blog a lot.

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  42. Yay! Xav's back!

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  43. Anonymous5:54 PM

    Great news. Enjoy your time off. And, thanks!

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  44. James Nelson6:03 PM

    Publish the idiots, and your commentary on them. We will enjoy it and can help you pummel them. Personally I take what you write as a gift, if I don't like it or don't find it useful, I just move on. However you have always kept me coming back with plenty of good stuff.
    Take your break if you need it, and we all need breaks, we'll be around when you come back.

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  45. Xavier,

    I am, to say the least, pleased that you have reconsidered. From the volume of comments you got, it is more than apparent that there are many more out there who feel like I do about your blog (one of my daily reads).

    If you are ever up Tulsa way, let me know, the beers are on me, and should I ever get down to New Orleans again (it's been since before Katrina)...the beers are still on me!

    Oh, and BTW, I loved your response to Nick's comment, and while I enjoy your "Ugly Gun Sunday" feature, it is only a minor consideration in what is a wonderful blog about guns (I loves me some 1911's and J-frames), photography (something I know little about, but have taken an interest in thanks to you), bicycles (an interest I had dropped long ago but have now taken up again, once more thanks to you) and dogs (I always look forward to Ilsa's literary contributions, I read them to my dog Charlie, who finds them quite fascinating if the amount of head cocking he does during these readings is any indicator).

    I also enjoy your stories about "pawn shopping", your family, new shooters and the posts you do about the use of guns in self defense (one of the latest ones you posted occurred in OKC and yet we heard nothing of it a mere 85 miles away in Tulsa).

    Even though you may not be making daily postings, I will always stop by "Xavier Thoughts" daily, just to check for that next one.

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  46. George7:38 PM

    Good to hear! But, as you recognized, take care of you and yours, first.
    Thanks for listening
    George F. Austin

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  47. X,

    Thanks much for leaving it up. Even though it's not your problem, it would've ruined my year if it all went away. (That's the last time I skip a day checking the blog just because I'm tied up in work.)

    Before you go, I'll like to let you know that your story about the photography class made me upset, and that if you really want to shoot your Kodak Jiffy, just respool some 120 on 620 spools in a changing bag. That's what I did for mine. (Or you could buy respooled 120 from B&H Photo, but it's pricey.)

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  48. I'm glad you're going to keep the lights on. Quick story for you about your blog and my life that I hope you'll appreciate.

    I have a bit of an ego. I'm a little more self confident than I should be at times. One of the ways that this bubbles to the surface is when I see an interesting profession I sometimes tell my wife that I could probably do that if I wanted to. I'm always gaming out what I could possibly do if my current chosen profession just falls apart. I've entertained being a lawyer, vet, fisherman, security consultant, doggie day-care operator, and God knows what else. In fantasy land I can do it all.

    I forget which blog post I was reading of yours but I know it was your blog. I was in the kitchen and she in the living room. When I finished I marched into the living room and told her: "Found a job I could never do. Nurse. I'm not man enough."

    I could never do what you do.

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  49. Don't let the bastards get you down.

    Xavier, you are one of the best story writers on the net, hands down.

    I'd be grateful for a one once in a while whenever you feel like it, and will re-read your old ones in between.

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  50. Thank you for deciding to take a break rather than leave. I rarely comment but often stop by several times a week to see if there are updates or new posts. Thanks for your writing, thanks for your work.

    --lexi

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  51. Yours was the first blog I ever bookmarked and I still read it daily. Your writing and insights are well worth paying attention to whether you agree or not. As a (retired) member of the medical profession I understand burnout all too well. Glad you are going to hang on a bit longer. Guns, bikes, photography, dogs, shooting, and medicine: these are a few of my favorite things and I look forward to hearing your take on all of them.

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  52. Anonymous10:30 PM

    Thank you, Xavier.

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  53. Xavier,

    This is the best doggone news I've had in awhile! Thanks so much for 'keeping the lights on'.
    I have my 15 year old daughter looking at some of your photography posts, as she has an interest in it and seems to have a bit of a knack for it. I came up from my basement office the last night with a big grin on face, at which point my wife asked me why I was smiling; I told her 'Xavier's not shutting his blog down!' Looking forward to your future posts.

    HankH

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  54. Thank you for your blog.

    Good bye and good luck.

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  55. Xavier:

    Don't take any of that stuff personally. Every blogger seems to attract a small minority of people that seem to take pleasure in making other people's lives difficult. Brigid has experienced it. The woman who runs the Daily Coyote web site has experienced it. It's not personal, and has nothing to do with you.

    Think about this: Do you want to react to the tiny minority by shutting down your blog, or do you want to address the majority who enjoy reading your views?

    Ignore the idiots, and concentrate on the rest of us.

    You're doing good things here. Don't mess that up on account of losers.

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  56. I am glad to hear you're not exiting the blog-o-sphere. When updating your site becomes more of a chore than a hobby... yeah it's time to take a break.

    Go have fun! We'll be here.

    Hooz.

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  57. Thanks Xavier,
    I stayed away all weekend, fearful of the blackness without the white writing I may find. Thanks a lot for toughing it out. I appreciate your work.
    -David
    p.s. have you ever seen a hibernating black bear?

    http://www.northlandsnewscenter.com/news/local/81213667.html

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  58. Whoa! Xavier, I just got time to read your blog for the first time in several days - I'm so glad you decided to "keep the lights on"!

    I like your posts on criminals; I agree with you most of the time there. I love your Ugly Gun Sunday! I usually have my jaw hanging down saying things like "WTF IS that???"! (I do wish you'd label it with what it started out as when you know it, I must admit) I generally tend to ignore your photography posts - I simply have no interest in that much detail, because I know that I do not have the kind of eye for composition that you do. You make photography an art; I enjoy seeing your pictures when you post them, but the mechanics of taking them leave me cold. That's fine - it's YOUR blog, and I wouldn't dream of trying to insist that you change it because it's not what I like. I'm sure others love those posts! I simply read what I like and am grateful that you share your insights and knowledge.

    Thanks for keeping it going. Go burn off some stress; we'll be here when you come back.

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  59. Michael1:01 AM

    I'm so happy you reconsidered. I considered not commenting, mostly because you don't care about my happiness, but I thought I'd take a second to let you know that I very much enjoy your writing, and appreciate how much you share.

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  60. Thank you for deciding to keep this blog afloat. It is hard to find gun blogs like yours; to the facts, down to earth and personable.

    I support your decision to step back from this blog and attend to the things that matter most to you. Wishing you well.

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  61. Glad to see that you decided to stick it out, I have always enjoyed your writing and hope to keep doing so. If you ever go on vacation and come through Atlanta make sure to shoot me an e-mail, I'll put you up for a night and take you to one of the best ranges in the south.

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  62. Thank you sir,

    I am very beholden to you for your continued writing and photography. I have found that your insights into certain subjects have altered my own point of view and enlightened me in some respects. Thank you for continuing.

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  63. Anonymous12:14 PM

    Mr. Xavier,
    I had not checked on the blog in a bit secondary to being busy, but just saw all the hoopla about you getting away from the blog. I just wanted to share that I ran across your blog about the same time I got my first gun and CCW permit and your info/thoughts/comments have been so helpful for me as I tried to absorb all I could from the resources you have documented as well as others. Your blog alone has helped me as a shooter and gun advocate more than most resources. I really appreciate the time and effort you have put into this blog. I was saddened to read the comments of some idiots that apparently did not appreciate your blog like I know so many did. I bid you farewell and will still check back occasionally on the off chance you feel frisky and want to post something. :) Again, many, many thanks at the genesis my "shooting life".

    Ben Compton

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  64. Very glad to hear that you have reconsidered bailing out. Now I can move your bookmark back up to it's proper place in my daily read section.
    You have a real talent for writing, and it would be a shame to hide it away from the public, as so many have pointed out.
    I can't recall how I found your blog, but feel enriched from pondering your perspective on the various subjects you write about. May you and your family be blessed.

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  65. Arcticelf6:50 PM

    Xavier,
    I'd hate to see you stop blogging, but understand you have to do whats right for you.

    I've enjoyed your blog in large part because of the scope of topics you write about, and the depth of knowledge you show.

    Good luck in your endeavors and if you keep writing I'll be here reading.
    Respectfully,
    Arcticelf

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  66. I'm darn glad you are going to stick around. It seems we have something in common besides our love of country and guns.

    Old Rob was a good buddy to me too. I consider him "The Blogfather". He was several years younger than me. I loved his blog and still read it to this day. I sure hated to see him go.

    I think I'd feel the same if you were gone.

    Enjoy what you can and tell the trolls to kiss your ass. I hope to see you posting now and then. I'll always be checking here for a new post. I enjoy your blog as much as I did Rob's when he was alive.

    Joe

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  67. Anonymous10:57 PM

    I am so glad to read this. I love both your gun-related and photo-related updates!

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  68. Dave H1:01 AM

    Xav,

    I always enjoy your observations and viewpoints. Range experiences. Bikes. Pawn shop treasures and oddities. ND stories. Unsung heros. Portrait photography. Interesting guns. The what-was-he-thinking ugly guns. ER stories. Home and self defense wisdom. I could go on. I just want to say THANK YOU for sharing your blog. I've always enjoyed it since I found it a couple years ago.

    Like I commented a while back as you started shifting your "focus" from guns to photography (bad pun):
    blog whatever and whenever you feel like it. Don't ever feel like you need to apologize for lack of posts or what you're posting about (or not posting about). It's your web log; a journal you're willing to share. Someday - a long time from now - your kin will be glad you put all those thoughts in writing.

    If people don't know how to behave in their comments and e-mails, there's the delete key, made even more satisfying when pushed with your second digit.

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  69. Anonymous10:35 AM

    I just found your blog via Blackfork. After reading a little, I have to say I really like what I see. F#ck those people who have a problem with you or your opinions. Great job, and I look forward to reading much more in the future.

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  70. Xavier,

    I haven't tuned in for a while so I almost missed this post. I came across your site looking for others who shared the same experiences that I had on the front lines with Katrina/Rita and now Gustav/Ike. Other disasters will come, and when they do, we need people like you to let others know what it all means.

    You have a unique talent that should not be taken lightly. The ability to assmilate thoughts and put them into words should not be taken lightly. much like you admire other bloggers, many here admire your talent. The fact that you are a photogrpaher who hangs out in pawn shops is only icing on the cake for me.

    Look at your detractors this way - Some people get it it, some don't. You get it. Spend your time enlightening the ones who get it, forget about the ones who don't.

    Dick Gremillion

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  71. Glad to read that you are leaving the lights on. Your blog was one of my favorites back when I wrote the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot blog on 1911og.org.

    Now I am back to blogging on a new site and hope that you will continue to provide good content for me to read and link to!

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  72. I can not tell you how relieved I am to hear that you are not going away. I normally check you out once a day if not more. I send countless numbers of people (well over a hundred to date) to this site to educate them. For that alone this site is 100% invaluable. I was not into photography of any kind until I read about it here, and now I can’t stop taking pictures of my own guns. I never gave much thought too working dogs but now have a much higher respect for K-9 officers and SAR professionals. I reference material that you have posted at least twice a week if not more. I thought I would have to copy almost the entire blog when I read the last post. To be honest a little panic did set in. I use to have a link to your gun page that had pictures and bio’s of all you guns, it recently went away, if you brought it back I would not be sad at all. It was great to go to it when I wanted to customize a gun of my own and I needed a direction to go in (ex. Officer’s ACP) but the links work just fine and I am not complaining at all. You do so much more than I think you realize. Thank you so much for your time. In a sea of idiots you are an island of common sense. There are few places that one can go to get a view such as yours. I would hope that you would shut down e-mails and comments and just write as you pleased before you would ever consider taking this away. This site is a gift of your thoughts and time that you have been generous enough to give to us and I can’t say thank you enough. You and your thoughts mean a lot to a lot of people, Especially me! Thank you.

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  73. Hoffy4:46 PM

    I have not logged in for a few weeks, and am glad you are leaving the lights on.

    I've only posted one or two comments over as many years, but I've learned a lot from you blog. It has helped me enjoy and keep shooting.

    Kiss/talk to your wife regularly, kiss/talk to your daughter regularly, kiss/talk to your dogs regularly; blog when you are able and take the notion.

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  74. I am glad you're going to keep the blog up. You are a voice in the wilderness. Have a good sabbatical.

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  75. I've not visited your site in a while and noted that you thought about shutting it down and then very glad to see you'll continue blogging well thanks for that.
    I'm a family doc in Fl and enjoy your thoughts and articles
    Thanks again
    Al

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  76. Hey Xav,

    I've just followed your blog since some months (perfect to improve his english for a gun-interested guy such me :-)) but I was very sad after I had read your decision finishing the blog. And now good to know about your new decision.

    Regards,

    Norbert
    Hungary

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  77. Just an FYI, since I had a stroke my memory kind of sucks. Glad you left this up for me to come back and refresh said sucky memory now and then. Muchas gracias, you wrote a lot of good stuff.

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I reserve the right to not publish ignorant ill-informed and filthy comments from vile cretins who have a four letter vocabulary. Further, anonymous comments with strong opinions and personal attacks may be rejected. If you want to voice a strong opinion, at least have the courage to sign your name to it. You don't even have to use your name, make something up so the next person can address your comment without confusion.